I DO NOT OWN THE RIGHTS TO ANY MUSIC/VIDEOS
Death is something that awaits us all. None of us have the correct timing on when that day will come, even if we’ve been told by doctors how long we have left to live. As we grow and live in this world, we become attached to it. Our sense of being seems to come from being here and making impressions on others around us. As we live we can get distracted from our true calling/purpose of being here because of all the other things we have the freedom to do. Even with all that, no matter how many people we meet, change lives, or even love, we will eventually have a day come where we leave them, or even worse, they leave us…
In this episode of Midnight Gospel, Duncan has his mom who’s battling stage 4 cancer come to his show so he can interview her for the final episode of his podcast (This Season). Their conversation is over birth, life, and death, almost seeming like she’s comforting Duncan in his pre mourning phase of her leaving him. This conversation puts a lot into perspective when it comes to our attachment to life and our ego to death.
The episode begins with Duncan’s mom breaking down his birth, she explains how he was born prematurely which I felt was a great foreshadowing into this episode, and also what the beginning of life consists of. As Duncan’s mom continues telling Duncan how he was born and how the process goes, we see Duncan slowly age as the mom tells the story of life, but as he ages older, his mom does as well. One of the best parts of this scene is when Duncan’s mom tells us how the first five years of our life shape our personality structure so strongly that whenever we begin doing spiritual work later in life will involve looking back at the patterns set down from our family origins. This was an important line because it correlates to the first blog of Arkham Saturday’s “The Beach” where Zuko’s frustrations in life all stemmed from his childhood and how his parents loved him.
One of the best parts of this episode is where Duncan’s mom teaches us how to be present again. It starts with her asking Duncan to see if he can sense the feeling inside of his hand, as he starts to concentrate she asks him to allow the feeling to go up to his body into his arm, then flow into his other arm, then into his legs, and tells him that the feeling he’s currently in is presence. He’s no longer using his mind to say to him how those body parts are feeling but using his actual body and senses to see how they are feeling for himself. Doing so causes us to presently focus on what’s happening in your body and that means your mind can’t focus on the routine of how it feels you’ll feel. This is important because as we begin to understand life we begin to just assume how things will go instead of allowing reality to happen and we experience it. After being on autopilot for so long, this method of coming back to the present is what helps heals the feeling of being lost.
As Duncan’s mom uses the analogy of being stuck on a river to teach him how to be present in life, she also brings it to a close by bringing to awareness her acceptance of going with the flow of the river (Her dying), rather than go against the flow fighting what’s inevitable. This brings us to the most tear-jerking part of the episode. Duncan has to take in the fact that we must all see life and death in many forms from plants, food expiration, and more including us. Our Egos personalize death and consider us a special case, but that just isn’t reality. We are a part of the whole that keeps transforming and transfiguring…
Heartbreak comes in many forms throughout our lives from relationships, friendships, family, and death… Many of us struggle with ways to accept this pain truly and what to do with the emotions we’re left to deal with once the time has come to an end. Duncan’s mom lets us know an easy answer to the question and that is to cry… It’s hard to hold so much in and never release the feeling from us, for most it’s very hard to allow ourselves to be that vulnerable. Having to accept that what we knew is gone, our hearts break. Duncan’s mom does an amazing job at letting us know that even through the hurt of our hearts breaking, that pain will transform if we inquire into it and that’s how we’ll know what we’re experiencing is the real deal form of love. To love is to also sacrifice and sometimes that sacrifice may be our hearts, but at least we allowed ourselves the opportunity to be so open to love that we were the sacrifice.
Love is meant to be free of constraints, but our egos place barriers around what we feel it means for us directly. As many of these barriers arise we begin to also close ourselves off to the open energy of what love is. When something comes along and doesn’t fit into our constraints we struggle to accept the idea of it because it is outside of what our minds can correlate, but this is when we need to take a step into Duncan’s mom’s lesson on being present and just sense the feeling with our mind, body, and spirit. Love heals all even after what we “loved” caused harm. Open yourself up for the unknown and be sure to be present in those moments to truly let go of the pain you’re feeling. We can’t control our death date, but we can always live life in love and allow that love to be our bliss…
-KoryH